life / Teen/Young Adult / Uncategorized

Can Males be close friends with Females?

Okay, here we are again talking about an issue that’s oddly confusing as I don’t get why it is an issue in the first place.

If there is one thing I learnt growing up, it is no matter the gender, friendships can strive.

Since forever social roles have been imposed on us, literally from birth. When we are born (if our sex is known before birth) parents buy clothing and gifts that are pink for girls and blue for boys. I have a question. Who decided that pink should be for females and blue for males? Let me know in the comments.  I for one prefer blue over pink 150%.

Many little boys are scolded if they want to play with Barbie dolls rather than getting messy in the mud instead of being given the choice to play with both.

To top off the lack of democracy in early life there is an unwritten rule that females cannot be close friends with males.

We live in a heterosexually dominant world, therefore in the minds of the older generation, if a guy is seen with a girl/woman, they intend to pursue her. Really though? Every guy wants to pursue every girl they come in contact with? I beg to differ. Little kids aren’t allowed to see other kids of the opposite sex naked because in their undeveloped minds they will want to have sex with them. No? Well, I can only assume that’s the reason why.

I grew up as a tomboy and naturally preferred the rough life that was intended for males. I neglected my dolls at an early age and opted for the mud and climbing trees. I preferred male company and still do. That doesn’t mean I cannot befriend females. We have different needs in friendships. We are only friends with people to gain something whether negative (money) or positive (love). No one remains friends with someone when they stop benefitting from it. Therefore in females or males, we look for certain qualities to advantage from. For example, one may tell their best girlfriends about a guy he/she likes then go to their guy friends to have a good wrestle. Why can’t we have the best of both worlds?

In life, I have experienced negative circumstances for befriending males whether it’s from external observers, friends or family. The minute you are seen smiling with a guy, “Gyall une see Nandina got a new man aye? Chile boo tings going on.”


I didn’t realise friendship could be such a negative thing. And I didn’t realise a friendship is anyone else’s business. Some of you are too nosy.

People even go so far as to report to your parents that they saw you with a guy. Also, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

If it’s all about protecting your children from having sex or what not..you do realise females can have sex too right? With each other 😂.

Most males are capable of keeping their mouths shut when you confide in them compared to many females. Most males carry less drama compared to a lot of females. Why are we not allowed to benefit from that society?

Social media is filled with people asking this same question. People’s friendships are virtually not anyone else’s business and you can be friends with the opposite sex. Is it you that can’t control yourself when alone in a room with someone of the opposite sex? I don’t know about you but I’m great 🙂.

Yes, guys in the majority have a higher sex drive than women so here’s an idea. If you develop feelings for your good friend, tell them. Problem solved. It’s up the friend to decide if they want to continue the friendship. We don’t have to over-complicate everything in life.

I almost forgot!!

Not every woman/man is trying to steal your man/woman. Some of you are so insecure that and get angsty whenever someone or anyone is talking to your partner. Why not speak to your partner about his friendships and establish who he’s closer with more than others? We don’t want in on your relationship. That is ‘reaching’ on the highest level especially when they aren’t even that cute.

Live a life that’s great for you. Stop trying to dictate in other people’s lives.

And on that note, I’m out ✌🏽.

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