College/Uni / life / Uncategorized

UCAS makes me want to kill myself 

It is January 13, 2017 and it’s been about a month since I’ve applied for university via UCAS. You’d have thought after sending the application all stress involved with preparing would subside – but it gets worse.

I’ve gotten a few offers and I’m very grateful but between interviews and constant emails between Universities, I’m EXHAUSTED. Need I mention it cost me £70+ to simply attend an interview for a uni that I can’t even guarantee a place at? This life ‘scressful’ bruh 🤦🏽‍♀️.

Anxiety, exam dates, sleep time, revision time, food time, binge-watching Smallville time, crying while humourlessly laughing time – THERE IS NO TIME. A 17-18 year old should not have to feel this stressed to simply get an education with the intent to successfully pursue their dreams. No one should have to feel depressed and yes I mean depressed in their adolescent lives.

I thought my sudden outbursts of tears and unexpected grey clouds of depression were the ultimate nightmare, until I found out some of my mates haven’t even sent off their UCAS applications yet – yes on Jan 13th when the deadline is Jan 15th. They must be crying urine and blood at alternate intervals. I feel stressed just thinking about how stressed they must feel.

These are the joyful days of our youth highly anticipated and instead we’re in our last year of college/sixth form contemplating metaphorical suicide.  I don’t know if I’m more upset about the UCAS process or the fact that I’m going to be tested on a scanty section of the specification after revising endless. Stacks. Of. Notes. Peak my life is 🙄.

Honestly, all I want is to be successful and quite frankly this whole thing is eating away at any hope I have left. Here I was thinking A-Levels was the easy way out. Gosh I sure did not see this bull charging at me and I’m not even wearing red.


All I can do now is suck up the tears, put my big girl knickers on and brace the storm no matter how much the wind is blowing the curls out of my Afro.

If you didn’t know, my dream is to be a forensic psychologist and if that fails, a detective. My dream is to help bring justice to everyone whether you’re the victim or the criminal. I need this and I don’t care if the system wants to bring me my death wrapped in an email or envelope, I will be successful.

I’m not sure if the universities I’ve applied to are reading this so I’ll try to keep it positive. In the event that you are reading this, here is a message for you… Please help change the structured educational system in our [students] favour as not everyone is a ‘swatter’. Please create a more accommodating process for everyone and please I beg you, give me an unconditional offer at your university 🙂.


4 thoughts on “UCAS makes me want to kill myself 

  1. Don’t worry you are not alone. I am a fellow UCAS applicant and it is such a horrible experience (not to mention expensive!) What course and Unis did you apply for?


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